- Previously on Warehouse 13...
Hello there. Agent sally stukowski. Fbi.
I'm in charge of this investigation.
- We're trying to help.
Well, we specialize in "weird."
We can help you. We--we know stuff.
- I'm Claudia.
- Douglas. Douglas fargo.
Everyone just calls me fargo.
- Okay. Doug.
I spent some time in a psychic...Research facility.
And I just told you I was in an institution,
So I guess today's sharing day.
- ♪ try not to think about you ♪
♪ try not to feel this way at all ♪
- No more agents, dude.
What the Warehouse needs are interns.
- Is that the whole order?
- Yeah, party fuel
For a super-fun night of inventory reports.
- You know, claude, I think sometime
You ought to bring your guit-box down here
And rock out the locals.
[imitates guitar]
- No.
- No? - No.
- Come on. You're really good.
You got to get out of your comfort zone.
You play at the b&b all the time.
- Where no one can hear me.
Especially you. Quit eavesdropping on me.
What's wrong with you? [cell phone ringing]
Here. Hold this. - What's wrong with you?
- Artie, unblock your number.
Yes, I made sure they used the vanilla sprinkles
As well as the soy whip.
- Soy whip? No, no, no, I don't need soy whip.
I need to speak with someone named Claudia.
- Who is this? - This is gibson.
And he told me to call this number
In case something went wrong with the beta test,
And something has gone wrong, really, really wrong,
And I'm the only one that's not vegging.
- Hey, hey, hey, gibson, de-spaz for a second.
Who told you to call me?
- Fargo. And I think he's gonna die.
[device beeping]
[mysterious music]
♪
- This is the address that gibson dude gave me.
- Ugh. It reminds me of college.
- Hey, gibson?
- Back here!
Oh, thank god you guys came.
They're, like, freaking out right now.
I don't know what's going on. I don't know what to do.
- Oh, my god, fargo.
- Oh, no, don't touch the headband!
[electricity crackles]
What do you think was the first thing I tried?
- Is this his heart rate?
How long has it been that high?
- Few minutes. It goes up and down.
- All right, uh, gibson, is it?
Who are you, why are we here,
And why is fargo jacked into the matrix?
- They're playing a video game,
And I don't know how to get them to stop.
Oh. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
In here.
This way...Fargo can tell you himself.
- Greetings, potential investors.
ni hao.
My name is dr. Douglas fargo,
World renowned scientist,
Inventor...Dreamer.
I'm here today to talk to you
About an exciting new business venture,
One that will change the standard
Of video game entertainment for all humankind.
Welcome to fargames.
Six months ago, two m.I.T. Graduates,
Jerry hoffler and gibson ryce
Came to me with an idea.
They called it the braid--
Braid.
The braid creates artificial feelings--
Sights, sounds, smells.
A full sensory experience.
You don't just play the game, you live it.
Fargames-- imagining greater.
- So, uh, fargo and jerry were beta testing this game?
- Yeah. Things were going great,
But after a few hours, their...
- Pulses started to spike.
- Look, gibson,
I.T. Problems really aren't our area of expertise.
Isn't there someone at eureka that could--
- The braid never worked, did it?
[dramatic music]
- The human brain
Wouldn't accept the lie of artificial reality.
But fargo thought he found something that would help.
They drank out of it before they started the test.
- Damn.
That little geek found an artifact.
- Agent Jinks.
Thanks so much for coming on such short notice.
- Agent stukowski.
Considering you tried to have me arrested
The first time we met,
I was a little surprised to get an s.O.S. Call from you.
- Oh, no, that thing in denver,
Honey, water under the bridge.
Reason I called is I've got a real humdinger here,
And since your organization specializes in "weird,"
I thought I'd take a chance.
So you came alone?
- Not...Quite.
- How'd that little nerd get his hands on an artifact?
I'll kill him!
I'll call Leena and she can help.
Eureka.
- Oh, did you just figure something out?
- What? Uh, no. Who's this?
- Fbi agent sally stukowski, this is Artie--
- Agent Nielsen.
- Pleasure, yes.
Thanks again for taking time out of your schedule.
Y'all must be busy with whatever it is you do.
- You want to just walk us through the scene?
- Yes. Eric johnson, 47,
Curator of the hobbes gallery,
Takes a dive out of this window here.
Official ruling is suicide, but I don't think so.
Coworkers and family say that he was excited
About the exhibit opening next week.
No signs of depression of erratic behavior.
- Hmm.
And...And, uh, were there any witnesses?
- Uh, no, he was working late.
Report says he was the only one in the building.
- I'm sort of missing the weirdness here.
- Coroner's report.
- That's mr. Johnson?
- He only fell two stories,
But the impact trauma,
It's like he was skydiving without a parachute.
- That is weird. And disgusting.
- So thoughts, ideas, suggestions, hypotheses?
I got nothing.
- Coroner's right.
Suicide.
- Oh, beg your pardon.
No, that's safety glass.
He couldn't have just jumped through it.
- Oh, he took a running jump
From all the way across the room,
Built up enough force, and went right through the glass.
What? Saw it on mythbusters.
- So that's it, then?
- 'fraid so. Good luck. Steve?
[cell phone rings]
- Oh. Oh, you know what?
This is the manager of the building.
Man thinks I work for him. I'll show you out in a second.
- We'll show ourselves out. Thanks.
- Perfect.
- I could tell you were lying.
- Yeah, that never gets old.
Take a look at that oil painting.
It's right across from the broken window.
It is a van gogh. Stormy night.
Been missing for years.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
It's bounced around europe since world war I,
And death has followed that painting
Wherever it's been spotted.
- If it's an artifact, why don't we just take it?
- And tell them what?
"your priceless painting murdered a man,
Please can we have it"?
- Oh, stukowski called us in.
- Yeah, and I have no intention
Of giving her any more clues as to what it is we do.
No, no, no, no.
If we're gonna get that painting...
- We're gonna have to steal it.
- Does it look anything like this?
- It's an exact match.
- No effect on fargo or jerry.
- The Warehouse has the fourth cup.
- All right, so what's the story?
- Well, the tea set belonged to beatrix potter,
19th century english writer.
- peter rabbit. I love that book.
- Yeah, the league of evil british writers strikes again.
- The rest of the set
Has been on Artie's most wanted list for years.
Hey, "used for brewing teas
"derived from rare fungi
"cultivated by potter during her time as a mycologist.
"the tea is known to stimulate
The precuneus region of the brain."
- It's the imagination center.
I bet that's why potter got into writing children's stories.
- So, what? The tea set made her trip bunnies?
- Fargo must have figured it'd help do what the brain couldn't.
You know, make the brain experience total reality
Inside the game.
- I've seen potter's first editions
In the Warehouse library.
Leena, can you send us the scans?
- You got it. - Claudia!
- [gasping]
- Uh, he just started doing this.
- We got to get him out of there.
- I've been reading the schematics,
And I don't think there's anything we can do...
From out here.
- So if you could never get 'em to work,
Why'd you make so many?
- Yeah, well, fargo's not the most linear thinker.
- Hey, I upgraded the hardware.
You should be able to incorporate that into the game.
- You did this in 20 minutes? - Quicker than domino's.
Myka, that's an in-game communicator,
So you'll be able to talk to us
Once we go inside.
- Claudia and I'll go in, find them,
And boogie on back out to reality.
- Game on, urban warrior.
- Yup.
- Okay. You both need avatars to play in the game.
What do you want to be?
- Make me a badass.
- What kind of game is this anyway?
- I just did the hardware.
It's some sword and sorcery thing that fargo wrote.
Think he's a wizard?
I was gonna be a warlock priest.
- I'll just be myself.
- Okay.
- Are you sure it won't work without the tea?
- We tried. If you don't drink,
The game's just a game.
- Fargo wanted more than that.
- [continues gasping]
- Yeah, looks like he got it.
- Well, I'll be here to make sure that nothing goes wrong.
Or...More wrong.
- Oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.
No, no, no.
I was playing frogger when you were just a tadpole.
Just to make sure the pop out works, right?
Mm. Oh, man. That--that's minty.
I hope there's no caffeine in there, 'cause--
- Well, his--his pulse is still normal.
- Uh, dude? Dude? You there?
- Yeah, yeah. Hello?
- Can you hear me? - Loud and clear.
Oh, wow. It's awesome in here.
Is that the--? Oh, man.
- Dude, uh, look down at your belt.
You see the controller?
- The white thing with the button on top?
- Right. Push the button.
- Ooh, you guys got to see this.
- Fill 'er up.
Is it me, or does that look a little bit like...?
- Yep, fargo made a Warehouse 13 video game.
- And somewhere in there, fargo's having a seizure.
- [sighs]
Whoa. And you're a stripper.
- What? No, I'm--I'm a gladiator.
It's cool, right?
- Yeah. Nice skirt.
- Nice ears.
- Huh?
Poi--pointy?
I'm an elf? I said "myself."
- Well, you need to enunciate.
Now run to your tree and get me some cookies.
- Halt, players!
- Artie?
- I am general arthur of the queen's royal best.
Now, players, prepare for a life-ending quest
Through bleak, barren lands.
You will stumble and blunder,
Trying to find a world of bizarre, endless wonder.
[both scream]
- Whoa. You see this?
- Yeah. Don't really believe it, though.
- [laughs]
Welcome, players, to fortress 13,
The most wondrous place that's never been seen,
Hidden deep in the valley
Of the land of bad.
Filled with dangerous relics.
Some evil, some... [laughs] mad.
- [laughs] Artie's gonna be deeply pissed.
- The princess is imprisoned high in the black tower,
Her life slipping away with each passing hour.
True heroes you are
To take this brave test.
Now, will you accept your dangerous quest?
- Your generalness, I am Pete-imus maximus
Of the Lattimer legion.
This is my faithful squire... Claudi-elf.
We would love to save your princess,
But are looking for two royal geeks.
- True heroes you are to take this grave test.
Now will you accept your dangerous quest?
- Short, glasses, unnatural attraction to computers?
- Now, will you accept your dangerous--
- Pete, it's just a program.
Fargo and jerry must be further on in the game.
We're just gonna have to play along
If we're gonna find 'em.
- Now, will you accept your dangerous...
- Sure, sure, why not?
- Welcome, players, to fortress--
- Both: Yes! - Ah.
Follow the path to the cave of forbidden mystery.
There you must collect the black tower key,
And with it free the princess,
And so save the day.
Great rewards await those
Who act the right way.
- Cave of forbidden mystery, huh?
Sounds cheery.
[device buzzing]
- Myka-mus.
- Pete, how's it going in there?
- Well, so far, so good.
No sign of the parker brothers yet,
But we're on a quest, and I have a really cool sword.
- Oh, oh. What did I get?
I got a... Vial of purple goo. Great.
I wanted nunchucks.
- Okay, look, you have to find fargo and jerry.
I don't know how much longer
Their hearts can beat at this rate.
- Copy that. Crash bandicoot out.
Okay. Let's go find the scarecrow, shall we?
Come, toto.
[adventurous music]
♪
- Artie! Hey!
Will you listen to me?
I've been up and down this place.
I know security systems.
And this one is far too sophisticated,
And probably--
[security system beeps]
- Wasting my time?
I know. I never get tired of that.
Ah, ah.
- Oh, I'm sorry. My burglary skills are rusty.
- We're Warehouse agents.
This isn't burglary. This is creative snagging.
- Well, I'll be getting my own lawyer.
Wha--whoa, whoa, whoa.
What is that? Some sort of weapon?
You know, you just add more time to the sentence, right?
[clang]
- Three, two, one.
[snaps]
It's called an eclipse.
Deactivates all laser protection
For 42 minutes and 59 seconds.
- Why 42 minutes and 59 seconds?
- That's how long dark side of the moon is.
- You're a floyd fan?
Dude, have you seen laser floyd?
- Dude, I've got roger waters' name tattooed on my neck.
No, I'm not a floyd fan.
- Thought you two might be back.
Guess I was right about all that weirdness after all.
- Uh, agent stukowski, this isn't...
- Steve, steve, steve, steve.
- Agent Nielsen, either you include me,
Or I activate the alarm.
Your choice.
- [gasping]
[computer beeps]
- This is not the peter rabbit I remember.
- Oh, man.
There's some serious copyright infringement going on here.
- Wait.
We passed seabiscuit here 20 minutes ago.
- Oh, nertz. We've been going in circles.
- Classic video game trope.
We should have seen this coming.
[woman groaning]
- Hey, are you all right?
- Wait, Claudia, we don't know what it is.
- Well, it's obviously trapped.
And didn't general arthur say
That great rewards await those who act the right way?
And helping this whatever that is could be--
- Acting the right way. Fair enough.
Stand back.
I'll use my trusty sword.
[video game beeps]
[yells]
Ah!
Ah, yow!
There's that full-sensory experience
Fargo was talking about.
- Silly gladiator.
Disco ball's an artifact.
And artifacts need to be neutralized, right?
- [groans]
- Thank you, player.
- Leena.
Look, wings.
- Yes, wings.
- You freed me from carter's curse,
And in return, I will show you the way to your destination.
- Great. More yellow road.
- For you, young elf,
A special reward for using your wits to solve my plight,
Instead of thuggish force.
- Thuggish can be good sometimes.
[video game beeps]
- High score.
- That is a boon.
Should you find yourself in need,
You may call on Leena of the eagle people.
- How does she get off the ground with those things?
- They're wings.
- Yeah, the wings probably help.
Hey, wait up.
- [growls softly]
- Oh, no, he didn't.
- He actually copied the dark vault.
So not cool. Fargo!
Get out here right now!
- Hey, hey. Key.
The key.
"there you must collect the black tower key.
"with it, free the princess,
And so save the day."
- Claudia, wait!
- Quicksand?
- This must be the deathy part of the game
General Artie talked about.
- Hey, there's someone in there.
[video game beeps]
- Oh. Oh.
Come on. That's it.
- [gasps]
Come on! Come on.
- Dougie.
[both grunt]
- Oh, thank you. Thank you.
- Okay, okay, okay. Hugs later.
- Both of you still have your controllers.
- Hey, hey, hey, easy there, grabby.
We have to find jerry. Where is he?
- Yeah, and what happened to your controller?
- He happened.
[ominous music]
- Holy crap. Who invited the grim reaper?
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey.
Look, I am a gladiator,
And I demand that you--
Okay...
You know, sometimes in a video game,
I think it's all right to run!
- You know, I was kind of digging fortress 13--
Neat costumes, rhyming Artie--
But that in there, not okay.
- That was not part of the game.
The quicksand, that executioner guy,
None of this is supposed to be happening.
Me and jerry were just playing along,
And then all of a sudden things got weird and scary.
- Weird and scary.
Sounds like the artifact did something.
- Yeah, which is why we don't play with them, fargo,
Or mix 'em with video games.
- Yeah, okay, I'll admit, not my finest idea,
But it was so innocent. Beatrix potter's tea set.
What's the worst that could happen?
Talking bunnies?
- I think we just met the worst that could happen,
And that talking bunny has a very big axe.
[device buzzes]
- Hey.
- Pete, fargo's breathing is back to normal.
- Yeah, yeah, we found the little guy.
Jerry's still awol.
And I think the tea set's
Starting to put a little bit of a whammy on us.
You find anything else out?
- Potter's first editions
Are more like dream journals than stories,
And they're dark.
In this one story,
Peter rabbit chews off his own leg
To escape farmer mcgregor's trap.
- That was not on reading rainbow.
- Guys, what if the tea set
Doesn't just enhance your imagination?
- What if it also brings out the darker parts
Of--of your subconscious?
- I used to have nightmares about drowning.
- And you wound up in quicksand.
That must be what's happening.
The tea set brings your fears to life in the game.
- Fantastic. What about the executioner?
- Well, that must come from jerry.
Most of my nightmares are about me losing my hair.
- Me too! - Really?
- Yeah, do ever put the--
- Hey, you can trade beauty tips later.
I'll figure out what's going on in jerry's head,
And you guys just find him, and then get out of there.
- So without the controllers, how do we get out of the game?
- Well, the only way to shut off the braid
Would be to finish the game.
Which jerry would know.
He must have gone to the black tower.
[thunder rumbles]
- Right.
Save the princess, finish the game.
- To the black tower!
[thunder rumbles]
- I never thought I'd say this,
But let's save us a princess.
- How am I supposed to know what's in jerry's subconscious?
All we ever talk about
Is video games and fantasy football.
- Why are all men emotionally stunted?
- I need a woman.
- Yeah, you and me both.
- No, no, I mean, I need to find...
- Are you gonna get me a woman?
Because if you are, I'd like to change.
- Okay, jerry's girlfriend, the girl on the mug,
Who is she?
- Oh, uh, sarah. Or susan. Melissa?
- You don't know her name?
- Hey, look, for the last year,
I've been working 24/7 on building the braid.
I don't even really remember your name.
What are you doing?
- I am going through jerry's calls.
Okay, most of them are from fargo.
Aha. Hannah.
He called hannah last week.
- Right. Hannah.
Yeah, right. Hannah.
- So you're just gonna substitute a forgery
For a priceless work of art,
And hope nobody notices?
- Shh, shh.
There--there's someone there.
Can you check?
- You know it's blank, right?
- Observe.
- Nice.
- It's memory paper
From johannes gutenberg's printing press.
Van gogh himself wouldn't know the difference.
- No one. You're hearing things.
Shut my mouth! How'd you do that?
- It's from johannes guten-- - Really?
- I...Don't know.
- Yeah, let's just make the swap, shall we?
- Here. Put these on.
- Ooh, we gonna do some dishes?
Just kidding.
So is this like that thing in denver?
It's a work of art with bad juju?
- Yeah.
No.
- So how we gonna get it out of here?
We have to cut it out, or--
[sneezes]
Oh, sorry. Dust.
- Artie. Artie, look.
[thunder booms]
- Get down!
- No, no, no! No, no, no, no...
- Hold on! Hold on!
- No, no, no!
Ah!
[moans]
- This thing is activated by a puff of air.
When you sneezed,
That's what triggered the effect.
- Who in the hell are you people?
- Ha, yeah, well, if I had a nickel.
Come on. We're gonna swap this out still.
- Hello?
What's going on?
- Hannah, I--I'm...
- Jerry? Oh, my god.
- Uh, don't touch the headband.
- Jerry. Jerry.
Jerry, come on, wake up.
Jerry. Jerry.
What's wrong with him?
Look, I can't even pretend to understand
What you're trying to tell me.
Lost in the game?
Do you work for fargo too?
- No. No, no, no. God no.
I'm just here to lend a hand.
Hannah, look, what's going on in there with them,
It has to do with your boyfriend's subconscious.
I need to know more about him.
- Jerry's not my boyfriend anymore.
We broke up last week.
- Last week?
- What, you think our breakup has something to do with this?
- Just--just tell me what happened, okay?
- I wanted more. Something serious.
Jerry kept saying that he wanted the same thing,
But the time wasn't right.
He wanted fargames to get off the ground,
And I believed him.
I even found the ring that he bought me,
But he never asked.
I waited for months,
And finally I just told him it was over.
I haven't really talked to him since.
Is he gonna be okay?
- Well, not as smooth as when we got whistler's mother,
But not a bad grab.
- Oh, well, that's something I'd rather not know about.
- No--
[electricity crackles, alarm wailing]
- dark side of the moon is longer than that.
Sally!
- She's got the van gogh.
- Ooh, man. My kilt is chafing.
- Thanks for coming, by the way.
- Believe me, if a black hole or an evil robot
Shows up at the Warehouse,
You're on my speed dial too.
- I hope the princess has some gold bond.
- Just let me open the door, okay?
Can't wait to meet this princess.
- Uh, before we go inside,
There's something I should tell you.
[video game beeps]
- What?
- Brave heroes!
You've come to save me!
- I'm the princess?
- Really? You didn't see this coming?
- I will compose a ballad in your honor.
[giggles]
[bike horn honks]
What are those things on my chest?
- Freckles?
- Okay, uh, game over. Princess saved.
What are we-- what are we doing here?
- [man crying]
[video game beeps]
- Jerry?
Jerry! Guys, this is jerry.
It--how did you get here?
- What's wrong with him?
- Aah! Aah!
- Oh, crap.
- Brave hero.
You've come to rescue me.
Aah!
- Okay. All right.
It's just you and me.
It's just you.
- Pete, come on, wake up.
Wake up.
- [growling]
- Wait, hannah, please--
- Pete. Pete, Pete, Pete.
- Who's hannah?
- Pete. - Come on, wake up, Pete.
- No, no, no.
[grunts]
Aah!
Whew.
Somebody needs a tic tac.
- Um, okay, what is happening?
- What's going on?
- Uh, everyone's heart rates just started elevating.
Oh, god. Jerry's is almost at 230.
How much faster can it go before it just explodes?
- Pete, can you hear me? What's going on in there?
- Myka, is jerry still alive?
- Yes, but his pulse is skyrocketing.
Listen, I think his anxiety
Comes from his ex-girlfriend.
- Yeah, whose doesn't?
- Hannah, yeah, I think we just met her.
Nice girl. Big axe.
- Pete, listen, you need to stay calm.
In the story... [static interfering]
...Literally consumed...
...His fears...
- Uh, what-- am I--am I losing you?
[sharp static]
- Ugh.
- Of course I am. Great.
- The line went dead.
- Myka, gibson, is anyone in reality reading me?
- I don't understand. It should be working.
- Possibly my fault.
Well, I started thinking about how much scarier it'd be
If we lost communications.
- Did you not hear the part
About this place making our fears real?
- Hey, it's your fault we're stuck in here, paul.
And what's the deal with puff the magic dragon out there?
- Yeah? Whose fear is that?
- Uh, well, no, that's actually just part of the game.
What? Dragons are awesome.
Besides, to get past it,
All we need is the dagger of josephine!
[buzzer]
[clears throat]
I said, "the dagger of josephine!"
[buzzer]
Which I may have forgot to program into the game.
- A game. A game.
That's right. This is a game.
So how about if I just close my eyes,
Jump, and float gently to the ground?
- Wait. Hold the phone, spartacus.
Boon goes the dynamite.
- Excellent. I'll get to see them again.
Her. Leena. I'll get to see Leena again.
[wings flutter]
- Greetings, player. Have you chosen your boon?
- And her two humongous wings.
- Can you fly us out of here to where jerry is?
- If that is your wish, my steed will aid you.
- Steed?
[creature roars]
[creature screeches]
- Shotgun.
- Oh. - Yes.
[police radio chatters]
- Stukowski played us.
- Why would she want an artifact?
- That van gogh's worth hundreds of millions of dollars.
Probably doesn't even care it's an artifact.
- She's a sworn fbi agent.
- Hundreds of millions.
- Look, why don't we just tell the cops who we are?
We're on the same team.
- Yeah. Nsa and atf, both burglarizing an art gallery.
That won't lead to too many questions.
[door opens] - All right, gents.
Let's all go down to 1 police plaza, shall we?
My boss wants to meet you.
- Hold it. Sally stukowski, fbi.
These men are working for me
On a very important terrorism case.
- Terrorism. In an art gallery?
- Black market sale of art
Has been used to fund numerous
Radical organizations in the past few years.
These men were helping me to identify a potential forgery.
We're nearing the end of a ten-month operation,
And I need a confirmation tonight.
I already have full authority on this crime scene
From my field office.
Do I need to take it up with your lieutenant?
- Um, take 'em.
- Chop, chop.
- Told you.
- Hannah, why are you doing this?
Look, I'm sorry. I couldn't ask.
I just--
I just-- look, I was afraid.
I was afraid you'd say no.
I--I wanted to. I was afraid!
I couldn't commit.
- I've had so many relationships that ended like that.
She can't really cut off his head, though, right?
I mean, not for real.
- I don't know.
I mean, if his fear kills him in here,
It might be able to kill him out there.
You okay?
- It's just this fear thing.
You ever try so hard not to think about something
Till it's all you can think about?
- Yeah, all the time.
- Miss Donovan.
This is another delusion, dear.
- Dr. Michener?
- Who's that?
- No, he's nobody. He's not real.
He's not here.
- None of this is real, Claudia.
You're just an emotionally troubled young woman.
- No.
- Your brother is dead.
- [screaming]
No! No!
Let me go!
You're not real!
- You've been living a delusion.
One you created to make yourself feel safe,
A Warehouse where you could hide from the real world.
But it's a lie, Claudia.
You've been in this institution the whole time.
With me.
- Don't listen to him, Claudia. - No, Claudia, we're real.
- Please! [electricity crackling]
No! Don't!
- You need your treatment, Claudia.
- Aah!
- Oh, man, this is bad!
Something really bad is happening!
I'm totally freaking out, man!
- Gibson, snap out of it!
- Aah!
- You've been hiding.
You'll feel better after your treatment.
You always do.
- You know what, doc?
I do feel better now.
Myka.
Is that really you?
- Yeah.
- Oh. You went with dominatrix, huh?
Good choice.
- Don't make me get my whip.
- Are you okay? - Mm-hmm.
- Are you okay?
- [laughs]
I wasn't expecting a catharsis today,
But that actually felt pretty good.
- Yeah, thanks, mykes.
Okay, guys, look, we have to save jerry,
And get our controllers back from evil hannah.
- But how?
I mean, she's been kicking our butt since we got here.
- Wait. I was stuck in the quicksand,
But when I saw you guys,
It gave me the courage to pull myself out.
- Right. And Myka distracted him,
But I had to be the one to finish the doc.
- You have to take down your own fears.
- Right. Okay. We got to get traumatized jerry
To nut up before he loses his head.
Myka, Claudia, you go talk to him.
We'll distract the ex.
- Let's go get medieval on her ass.
- One, two, three, break!
- Break. - Okay, that's...
Just--
- Sorry I ran off.
Didn't really have much of a choice.
Figured I'd catch up with you two
Once I got the painting back to a safe place.
I don't really like lying to policemen.
- Well, trust me, you're good at it.
- You have our number, agent stukowski?
- All right, then.
So catch you later.
- What is it, Artie?
- Something.
- [groaning]
Hannah, I never wanted it to end.
I just--I just--
I just wanted to be more for you.
- Hey, you old battle axe!
- Hyah!
Oh, you gonna make the super-scary monster face, huh?
She's gonna make the super-scary monster face.
[both mocking]
Bring it, bi-atch.
How am I doing?
- Jerry, everything's gonna be okay.
- Doesn't matter.
I'll never be good enough for her or anybody.
- Hey, lady!
- You had that thing the whole time?
- I think we've established
I haven't thought this through very well.
You shall not pass!
Or...After you.
- Aah!
- Cheater.
Come on.
- Jerry, listen,
I know what happened with hannah, the real one.
You love her, but you couldn't propose.
- She just would have said no.
- This place, it magnifies your fear,
Your--your anxieties.
The proposal, okay? That's your demon.
Don't let it kill us all.
- Come on, jerry. Dig deep.
What do you want more than anything in the world right now?
- I--I want hannah.
- Then make it happen.
Go over to her. - Okay.
- Look her in the eye. - Okay.
- And tell her how you feel.
- Okay. Okay.
[video game beeps] All right.
- Let's go.
Aah!
Now, jerry.
- Hannah, will you marry me?
- Jerry.
- Congratulations, players.
The game is complete.
And now let's all get something to eat.
- It's about freakin' time.
- Aah, she's back!
- Hannah. Hannah.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- It's okay. - I love you.
- I love you too.
- I love you, I love you, I love you.
- I like this hannah better.
- Well, I thought the giant axe
Was kind of a turn-on.
- I officially know way too much about you.
- [laughs]
- Hi. I, um...
This is my first time doing anything like this.
Uh, a really good friend of mine
Told me I needed to get out of my comfort zone.
Um, and then my worst nightmare sort of told me the same thing,
So it's been a weird couple of days.
Um, anyway...
Ti--yeah, tip your barista.
Here we go.
[playing pixies' where is my mind?]
♪
♪ oh with your feet on the air ♪
♪ and your head on the ground ♪
♪ try this trick then spin it ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah
♪ your head'll collapse
♪ because there's nothing in it ♪
♪ you'll ask yourself
♪ where is my mind
♪ way out in the water
♪ see it swimming
♪ well I was swimming in the caribbean ♪
♪ animals were hiding behind the rocks ♪
♪ oh, yeah, yeah
♪ except a little fish
♪ and he told me he swears ♪
♪ he's trying to talk to me, to me ♪
♪ where is my mind
♪ way out in the water
♪ see it swimming
[cheers and applause]
- It's done.
- Now we wait.
[ominous music]
♪
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